


the difference between screw you and screw me

by autumnyuyu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Or do they?, Sexual Tension, Teacher AU, chanbaek giving junmyeon a major migraine, headmaster junmyeon because i said so, the students ship it, they hate each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 16:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20049286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnyuyu/pseuds/autumnyuyu
Summary: The whole school figured that Mr. Park and Mr. Byun were either a) mortal enemies, or b) having intense hate-sex inside empty classrooms whenever classes were not in session.





	the difference between screw you and screw me

“I reserved the concert hall a week ago, Park. I’d appreciate it if you pack up your class and let my students sing in peace,” a man with a lean figure tapped his foot impatiently. 

Hearing the snide remark, Mr. Park turned to properly face the speaker. The tapping stopped. A staring contest commenced. Mr. Park sported a frown, displeased due to the disturbance. He was in the middle of conducting his wind ensemble before he was so rudely interrupted. His eyes narrowed upon meeting the source of the disruption. Byun Baekhyun, the choir teacher who looked sinfully attractive in a white button up with the top button always left undone. 

“Too bad, Byun. By the time my students pack up, your little class will be over. Let’s not waste anymore time here,” he rolled up his sleeve and pointed to his watch for emphasis. “Lead your choir back to your classroom and maybe they can a cappella for a few minutes in between your boring music theory lectures.” 

The suggestion caused the blonde choir teacher to stride towards him, annoyance clearly shown on his features. He paused a step away from Mr. Park, gritting his teeth as he peered upwards at the giant. Mr. Park looked down to meet his eyes, which made him clench his teeth even harder. 

“I reserved the concert hall, Park, my students have the right to practice here. Gather up your wind ensemble and let us prepare for the concert.” 

“Make me,” Mr. Park challenged with a smirk. 

~♬~

“The sexual tension was so thick you could’ve literally sliced it with a butter knife and spread it on toast,” Ahri told her friends in between bites. She spent thirty minutes of class awkwardly standing to the side with her classmates just so her teacher could duke it out with the hot band teacher. Luckily, the bell saved all the students from witnessing an alarming argument that was on the verge of turning into a heated makeout session. 

Jinyoung stabbed at his food while sending Ahri a questioning look. “Are you sure it was sexual tension and not, oh I don’t know, _ hate _tension?” 

“Jinyoung’s right,” Haeun piped up in agreement. “Mr. Byun hates Mr. Park’s guts. There’s no way anything is happening between the two of them. I heard a story from a senior who says the reason why Mr. Byun so deeply despises Mr. Park is because they used to be best friends in high school before Mr. Park backstabbed him and stole his girlfriend.” 

“That sounds a bit far-fetched,” Ahri rejected. 

“Better than your delusional theory about the two of them having hate-sex in the music office.” 

“Can we stop talking about our teachers banging in the middle of a crowded cafeteria, please?” Jinyoung begged as his eyes darted around the room. 

Haeun shrugged, taking a long sip of her lemonade. “You can’t deny that there is something going on between those two,” Ahri concluded before dropping the conversation. 

~♬~ 

“For the last time, Park, stop using my coffee mug! I don’t want to be infected with your gross germs,” Baekhyun grumbled as he rinsed his mug for the third time. Chanyeol remained unfazed, immersed with his laptop and nibbling on crackers. The blonde set his cup on the drying rack before marching towards the slouching giant. 

With a quick push, Baekhyun slammed the laptop lid down on the band teacher’s fingers. Chanyeol removed the fingers wedged in-between the laptop and attempted to soothe the pain by blowing on them. ‘Good,’ he thought, ‘that’ll teach the obtuse idiot to not ignore him.’ “Did you hear what I said?” 

From the angle where the choir teacher was standing, the band teacher was treated to a nice view of his collarbones. The blonde musician really ought to cover himself up more, though Chanyeol didn’t mind the glimpse of exposed skin.

“Hm?” Chanyeol asked, eyes now shifted to the blonde’s lips. 

“Stop using my coffee mug! And if you do, not implying that you should ever touch it in the first place, at least have some decency and rinse the leftover remains. Do you know how hard it is to clean the stains after they dry?” Baekhyun’s nose twitched adorably as he scowled. 

“Alright, alright,” the giant promised. “No need to be so worked up over a cup.” 

“That cup happens to be the limited edition Girls’ Generation coffee mug that I fought tooth and nail for. Excuse me if I actually treasure my possessions.” 

“What a shock! I didn’t know you were capable of treasuring things since you didn’t even hesitate with trying to break my fingers…” 

From across the room, Lee Jiwoo quietly sipped her espresso as she watched the bickering unfold before her. It’s been six months since she joined the Arts department as the new Photography teacher. Six months was not enough time to decipher whether her coworkers were a) acquaintances who were plotting each other’s deaths, or b) friends with benefits who get off from pent up sexual tension. Whether or not her coworker were murderers in their planning stages or having mind-blowing hate-sex after work was really none of her business. But she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of relationship those two have. 

She tried asking Kyungsoo - a Drama instructor who knew the two of them outside of work - a few weeks into the school year. His poker face was definitely the reason why he was the Head of Dramatic Arts. He brushed them off as morons and advised her to just ignore them. The former paparazzi within her did not yield well to the Drama teacher’s protip. Instead, she paid closer attention than ever to the two of them whenever they were metres within each other. 

Jiwoo realized her behaviour was extremely creepy and downright invasive. Yet, the secrecy was begging for her to analyze every little touch and insult traded between those two. Plus, her bestie was pestering her to set her up with either one of them after seeing pictures from the school’s welcoming party. She needed to know if her coworkers were making out in empty classrooms so she could console her best friend the in case that they are 100% gay for each other. 

~♬~ 

“You sound off key, Byun,” Mr. Park commented from the doorway. 

Mr. Byun stopped his demonstration and flushed a bright pink. “Shut up. I know I sound off key. I’m sick you insensitive giant.” Baekhyun knew it was rather unprofessional of him to call a fellow teacher ‘giant’ in front of his students but at this point, he didn’t give a single fuck. His head was pounding and he felt like he was going to collapse any second. In hindsight, he should’ve listened and called in sick for the day. Nevertheless, his middle name was stubborn for a reason, but oh boy did he now want to get it changed to regret. 

Concern flickered in Mr. Park’s eyes for a split second before it was cast away with a roll of his eyes. “You should’ve stayed home if you felt sick instead of coming here and jeopardizing the education of all these wonderful students.” 

“What do you want, Park?” Mr. Byun mumbled tiredly. He could hear one of his students whisper ‘you’ to the giggling girl next to her. Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to be resting at home underneath layers and layers of fluffy blankets. 

Mr. Park closed the distance between the two of them. He shoved some papers into the choir teacher’s hands and held up a pen. “Jongdae wanted some documents signed. He couldn’t be bothered to walk all the way here so he bribed me with Minseok’s caffè macchiato. Hurry up so I can claim my reward.” 

“Just to spite you, I’m going to drag this on for as long as possible.” 

Needless to say, the choir students’ vocal exercises of the day was screaming their heads off the moment class was dismissed. 

~♬~ 

“Did he seem okay?” Jongdae, the literal devil, asked with a smug grin. 

“That idiot was straining! He never strains! Why did he insist on coming to school like that!” 

Jongdae glanced at his stack of papers. He knew there would be creases if the band teacher was the one delivering the papers. Unfortunately, Jongdae didn't even get the opportunity to object. Chanyeol had immediately snatched the papers out of his hands after he offhandedly mentioned dropping by the choir classroom to get Baekhyun’s signature. 

“As his best friend, I’d also like to smack some common sense into him. Too bad he’s as stubborn as a mule when it comes to work. If only he is less married to his job. Seriously, you’d have to kidnap him and physically bound him to his bed if you want him to take a proper nap and rest,” Jongdae joked. 

Chanyeol had an unreadable expression on his face. “That might actually work,” he muttered under his breath. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. Lunch break starts in ten minutes and I doubt anyone would miss me if I slip out a couple of minutes earlier. I’ll eat out today so text me if anything important happens.” Chanyeol grabbed his coat and swiftly exited the office after saying his farewells. 

Jongdae had a sneaking suspicion that his afternoon would consist of being the substitute choir teacher. 

~♬~ 

“I wonder what happened to Mr. Byun,” Haesoo pondered while walking to a nearby cafe with Shinhye. Haesoo’s favourite lesson of the day was choir with My. Byun, her favourite teacher. He always knew how to encourage the students and offer insightful criticism and tips to help them improve. She was a bit disappointed when Mr. Byun wasn’t there today to brighten the students’ day as usual. 

“Mina said he seemed sick this morning. Everyone kept telling Mr. Byun to go home and rest but he continued teaching as usual.” Haesoo frowned at the new piece of information. Mr. Byun was notorious for his extreme work ethic. He was usually the last of the teachers to leave the school, willing to loiter around the school for a couple of hours just in case someone needed his assistance. “Apparently, Mr. Park scolded him too. I think Mr. Byun realized how sick he was and went home.” 

“Good,” a tiny smile of relief tugged at the edges of her lips. “Mr. Byun should really learn how to take care of his health more. He’s an adult for god's sake!” Haesoo tsked, causing her friend to laugh and joke about her sounding like a mom. 

“I hope he’s back tomorrow,” Shinhye said once her laughter died down. Her comment earned her a look of confusion. 

“Why? You aren’t in any of his classes.” 

“I am, however, in wind ensemble.” If possible, Haesoo was more confused after the clarification. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” Shinhye sighed after receiving a nod as the reply. 

“While we were setting up, Mr. Park spent the entire time grumbling about how much of an idiot Mr. Byun was for coming to school. He also zoned out a couple of times and missed the major cues when he was conducting.” Shinhye’s voice shifted to a teasing tone as she continued. “Who knew Mr. Park would be so distracted when someone he _ hates _was at home suffering.” 

“You’ve been reading Ahri’s blog, haven’t you?” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault that our teachers have an obvious infatuation with each other.” 

~♬~ 

“You’re an idiot for going to work with a high fever. Why are you such an idiot? Why am I in love with such an idiot?” 

“Because I’m your idiot,” the blonde retorted, cozy in bed, surrounded by pillows and under layers of warm blankets. “Ahh~” A spoonful of ginseng chicken soup was carefully delivered to his mouth. A high fever and a pounding headache wasn’t so unbearable after all. 

~♬~ 

The next day, Mr. Byun returned in perfect health. Mr. Park, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. Some speculated that Mr. Byun transferred his cold to Mr. Park via steamy mouth-to-mouth action. Others feared that Mr. Byun used some sort of dark voodoo to curse Mr. Park to suffer in his place, allowing him to make such a fast recovery. 

None of those theories were long-lived. When it was revealed that several other students and teachers failed to attend their classes, the general public reached a consensus: Mr. Byun was the culprit for a school-wide cold epidemic. Everyone started wearing face masks and carried around tissue packets. 

~♬~ 

“They need to stop trying so hard. They make the rest of the staff look lazy in comparison,” Jongdae whined. 

In front of him was the chart displaying the stats for fundraising week. Most of the labels with the names of the teachers were sitting at the halfway mark of the fundraising thermometer. At the top of the thermometer were scrap pieces of paper added as an extension. Two names claimed the top, neither willing to relinquish their number one spot. 

“Let them have their fun,” Kyungsoo dismissed. “The more competitive they are, the more money they raise. The more money raised, the more funds for the department.” 

Just then, a flushed looking Baekhyun stumbled into the staff room. “I hate him so much. He didn't even pay for those cupcakes, he just snatched some from our booth! What kind of jerk-” 

“Whoa, Baekhyun,” Jongdae interjected. “What’s gotten you so worked up?” 

“Some idiot with Yoda ears thought he was entitled to take the cupcakes I spent all night baking. Now I need to restock before we run out and a bunch of impatient students lose interest.” 

“You made all of that?” Kyungsoo stared at the cart, all layers cramped with plates of cupcakes. 

“I had a little help…” the blonde trailed off. “Anyways, gotta go before a riot breaks out.” The sound of squeaky wheels signaled his departure. 

Jongdae spotted a tray of forgotten cupcakes sitting at the choir teacher's desk. The icing seemed messy and the proportions were off. These must be the rejects of the batch. He selected the cupcake coated with the most amount of sprinkles and offered another to Kyungsoo. 

The Drama teacher hesitated to accept. “Is it safe?” After all, Baekhyun was infamous for burning all his meals. Once, the school was evacuated for the afternoon after he attempted to boil water for spaghetti. Needless to say, Baekhyun was not capable of making something as intricate as cupcakes. 

“Guess I'll die,” Jongdae shrugged. He bit the area with the most generous amount of icing and to his surprise, he was met with a delightful explosion of chocolatey sweetness. He finished the rest of the treat and grabbed a second one. 

“Judging by your reaction, Baekhyun had more than a little bit of help,” Kyungsoo popped his cupcake into his mouth. A tiny smile reserved for delicious treats began to overtake his features. “Definitely had more than a little bit of help.”

~♬~

“Byun, I'm in the mood for some Italian right now. Would you be a dear and pick up some seafood pasta from Viva Polo?” 

Baekhyun dropped his red pen. “I'm in the middle of marking music theory and you want me to drop everything so I can fetch your lunch? Unbelievable!” 

“Well you better believe it, I won the bet fair and square. The loser does whatever the winner wants for a week, that was the deal,” Chanyeol reminded smugly. 

“Acting pretty cocky for someone who won by a dollar,” he taunted. 

“That's still a dollar more than you,” the band teacher retorted in a singsong voice. 

“If you hadn't stolen those cupcakes-” 

Chanyeol pressed a hand to the choir teacher's mouth to shut him up. “No hypothetical situations. Let's stop dwelling on possibilities and focus on reality.” 

Baekhyun licked a stripe across Chanyeol's palm. Feeling the wet sensation, the giant withdrew his hand with a look of disgust. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to not be bothered by mere licking,” the blonde smirked. His fingers hooked onto the suit jacket he threw over his right shoulder while his other hand glided over his car keys. Byun Baekhyun left the room swaying his hips and Chanyeol would be lying if he said his eyes were not glued to every second of it. 

~♬~ 

“Isn't it too hot for a turtleneck, Byun?” Once again, Mr. Park sauntered into the choir room, effectively interrupting the lesson at hand. 

“Do you need something? Or are you just here to make fun of my wardrobe?” Mr. Byun started tapping his foot impatiently. 

“Do you always need to be so hostile?” Mr. Park raised a hand, putting an end to the choir teacher's unborn retort. “Just wanted to confirm the set list for the recital.” 

For the next couple of minutes, the students were instructed to do vocal warm-ups. Most of the classes’ attention never shifted from the two teachers huddled to the side of the room in hushed whispers. 

At one point, Mr. Byun subconsciously tugged on his collar to allow his neck to breathe. In the progress, a red patch of skin peeked out. The choir teacher didn't notice, his attention entirely devoted to the papers within his hands. Though, the same could not be said for the rest of the room. 

“Wow, Mr. Byun, that's one heck of a bug bite!” Jisung expressed concern in his voice. ‘Oh sweet summer child,’ the rest of the class thought. 

“Yeah Byun,” Mr. Park chimed in with a smirk. “You should really rub some ointment on it before it spreads into a _rash_.” 

The choir class was treated to the delightful sight of a blushing Mr. Byun. He directed a glare at the band teacher and shoved the stack of paper he was holding onto him. “Set list seems okay. Now, stop disturbing my class and leave.” 

Mr. Park neatly rearranged the files he was holding and fixed the creases. He made his way to the doorway before looking back one final time. “Fetch me some coffee later!” 

“Not happening!” Mr. Byun called out. With Mr. Park out of sight, whether or not the final scream was heard remained a mystery. 

~♬~ 

“Hey, isn't that Mr. Byun?” Yeri pointed to a man with his back facing towards them while Seulgi was contemplating which bag of chips seemed the most filled. 

They both stared at the man pushing a shopping cart, slowly making his way pass the selection of toilet paper. “Maybe? I don’t know?” Seugli answered, turning her attention back to the task at hand. “Hey, I think this one feels heavier,” she said, trying to pass the bags for her friend to compare. 

Yeri’s gaze didn’t waver, still concentrated on the moving figure, she gently pushed away the offered snacks in favour of hesitant steps towards the likely shadow of their choir teacher. “I think we should say ‘hi’ to him. And maybe I can convince him to bump my mark for the latest assignment, the one I totally flopped.” She was about to pursue the blonde with the shopping cart when Seugli stopped her. 

“That can wait until Monday,” Seugli said. “I don’t think we should bother him with work stuff when he’s, you know, off work. Besides, seeing a teacher do grocery shopping is like the equivalent of encountering a poisonous plant in the wild: don’t touch it, and you won’t die.” 

“I...I don’t think that analogy is correct. Mr. Byun is way too nice to try and kill us. You’re just too socially awkward and don’t want to run into people you know because you didn’t apply makeup this morning.” Seulgi huffed. 

“I’m going home,” Seugli snatched the basket sitting on the ground, preparing to ditch her friend and make her way towards the check-out counters. 

Yeri tugged on her arm and kept her in place. “I was just kidding,” she choked out in between short bouts of giggles. “And I think you’re right about the Mr. Byun thing. Look.” Seugli followed the direction of her friend’s stare, once again yielding her attention to the blonde man pushing a shopping cart. 

He was joined by another taller, dark haired figure. The new arrival slung an arm around the torso of the man who they originally thought was Mr. Byun, resting his hand at his hip. They were pushing the shopping cart together, and... Did he just _ spank _ the shorter male? They definitely seem like more than just friends. Watching their retreating backs grow further and further away, the two girls looked back at each other. 

“That was not Mr. Byun,” they both agreed. They left the store content with the fact that they avoid an awkward encounter, blissfully unaware of just how wrong they were. 

~♬~ 

“Park Chanyeol!” was all the warning the band teacher got before a fist came flying. 

Narrowly dodging the punch, Mr. Park directed a confused roar at the attacker. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Byun!?” The choir teacher stood in place, eyes replacing his fists as weapons and giving him a glare with the intensity of laser beams. 

“What did I say about touching my stuff?” Mr. Byun spat out venomously at last. They were causing quite a scene in the halls. Tired university students running on hot espresso formed a circle around the two. Front row seats to see the two teachers who everyone knew hated each other throw down. Now_ that _ was a way to start a boring Tuesday morning. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mr. Park remarked, slightly dazed and a whole lot of confused. 

“Maybe you’ll remember once I knock-”

Mr. Byun never had the chance to finish that sentence. One very angry headmaster charged through the barricade of students - like Moses parting the Red Sea - interrupting the dispute before it could get out of hand. “Park! Byun! In my office, _ now _. As for the rest of you, please make your way to class.”

Rumour has it that the two teachers got chewed out by Headmaster Kim. They were thirty minutes late to their next period class and were eerily calm for the rest of the day. Though, several students wondered why their teacher’s clothing were in more of a crumpled state compared to before they entered the office. 

~♬~ 

Yuna was about to open the door to an empty classroom before she heard a bang resonating from within. The hand reaching for the handle slowed. In her moment of hesitation, she heard a snippet of a conversation. 

“I can’t fucking stand you, Park,” a voice growled. 

“By all means, take a seat,” came the reply. 

‘Oh my god,’ Yuna thought, ‘are they going to start fucking?’ 

It was at that precise moment, Yuna’s hand slipped. She was already pressed against the door to eavesdrop on the conversation. Her hand pushing down on the handle combined with the pre-existing pressure caused the door to swing wide open to reveal the two men hashing it out in the deserted classroom. 

Yuna awkwardly stared at the picturesque tableau before her. Mr. Byun was pinning Mr. Park to the wall, hands tightly gripping his shirt collar in what seems to be a threatening manner. Due to height difference, however, it looked about as intimidating as a Corgi yapping at a Golden Retriever. A veil of silence engulfed the room. No one moved in fear of tipping the delicate balance. 

The stagnant state of the room was thankfully disrupted by a shrill ringing. Offering a polite, sheepish smile, Yuna rushed to the source of the noise. “I, uh, accidentally forgot my phone in here,” quick wave of the device to prove her point, “so I came back to get it. Pretend you didn’t see me?” 

Her phone continued to ring and her mortification continued to grow. “I’ll just leave now,” she practically screamed as she ran out the door. At the moment, she didn’t have the luxury of stopping to think about what she had just witnessed. Yuna needed to get the hell away. It wasn’t until she ran out the facility and out the school gates that she paused to regulate her heartbeat. What the fuck just happened? 

Later that night, an anonymous post on Ahri’s blog sparked weeks worth of gossip about the two music teachers who supposedly hated each other. 

~♬~

Jongdae was tired and hungry as he trudged to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite and recharge. He was greeted by the smell of kimchi and a swarm of students when he arrived at his destination. Despite what others may say, he quite liked the food served at the cafeteria. With that being said, he wouldn’t exactly call the meals heavenly and absolutely can’t imagine why there would be this many students flooding the place. He got his answer as soon as the music started playing. 

At first, he thought it was a mass hallucination. There was no way Baekhyun was singing a cheesy love song accompanied by Chanyeol strumming the guitar. But he heard the frantic cheers, the shutters of phone cameras, saw the phones activating flashlight mode and everything seemed too real to be a simple sleep-deprived induced illusion. A horde of banshees where birthed when Chanyeol started joining in on the singing as well. 

There they were - band teacher Park Chanyeol and choir teacher Byun Baekhyun, notorious for not getting along - singing a love duet in the middle of an overpopulated cafeteria, looking like a pair of idols. The two unique voices mingled to produce an invincible harmony, captivating the entire student body. 

Unknowingly, Jongdae was put under a trance as well, swaying to the melody and tuning out the rumbling from his stomach. Before he knew it, Jongdae was being shoved around by excited uni kids waving their phones around and blinding him in the eyes with their impromptu lightsticks. Jongdae was hungry and confused as he nudged his way through the crowd in an attempt to reach a safe haven. 

Just as he thought he was done for, he saw his saving grace in the form of Kyungsoo sitting in a corner quietly sipping his coffee. He mentally apologized to all the students he shoved aside in a scramble to reach the calmly seated Drama teacher. Finally escaping the war zone, he let out a relieved sigh. 

Kyungsoo offered him his cup of coffee when he took a seat at the table. “You look like you need it,” Jongdae graciously accepted. Taking a big swig, he directed his gaze back towards the unlikely combo singing in the center of the crowd. 

“Can you please tell me why Chanyeol and Baekhyun are karaoking love songs together in the middle of a cafeteria? This lowkey feels like an alternate universe and I’m too hungry to come up with theories to explain any of this.” 

“You know how when it’s exam season, we tend to make promises to students to motivate them a little?” Jongdae gave an affirmative nod. “Those two told their students they could choose whatever reward they wanted and of course, their students took advantage of the deciding part. Usually, students would ask for mark boosts anyways so they didn’t set any regulations, which is why we are enjoying their mini concert right now.”

Hearing the explanation, Jongdae couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh man, I never thought I’d see the day where those two would be singing a duet in front of hundreds of students.” Jongdae glanced around the room, noting the fact that more and more people were pooling into the mob. From the corner of his eye, he spied a peculiar sight. “Is that girl holding a professional camcorder?” 

Kyungsoo didn’t even seem fazed as he answered. “That’s Jung Ahri. She went to the Film department early in the morning to borrow it.” Jongdae hoped she was as devoted to her studies as her teacher’s love life. 

“Impressive… Can I have that same level of dedication when I’m marking papers?” The Drama teacher remained silent, watching the performance with an attentive stare. “Why so serious?” Jongdae probed. 

“Headmaster Kim told me to keep an eye on things in case anything wild happens. Post-exam university students can be too over-enthusiastic depending on the situation.” 

Just then, a loud shriek of “get married” echoed throughout the room. The waves of chanting that followed were similar in nature. 

“I bet Junmyeon is just watching the security footage from his office and silently stressing in front of the monitor.” Jongdae was extremely amused. 

~♬~

Later that evening, when Ahri arrived home, the first thing she did was to upload the lunchtime concert video onto her blog. She sat back as the flood of comments started flying in. 

**kekekeke you can see mr. byun wanting to choke mr. park when they were holding hands at 13:14**

**mr. park’s deep voice fucks me up. imagine him whispering into your ears during sex… only mr. byun will know that feeling i guess. **

**crying at 5:20!!! they sang i love you in unison when will your ships ever? parkbyun outsold don’t @ me **

**i’ve been shipping these two since my first day of class and i graduated a year ago. please tell me they finally confessed their undying love for each other in public and are now singing cheesy love songs to celebrate. **

**are we not going to talk about mr. park’s heart-eyes at 6:14??? wow get yourself someone who looks at you like the way mr. park looks at his mortal enemy. that’s true love bitches <3**

**okay everyone in the comments being thirsty but can we acknowledge how fucking good they sounded together? why are y’all university professors when you should be joining an idol group with your looks and angelic voices!?!?! **

**omg parkbyun married!!!**

**highkey regret not taking choir, the teacher’s hot af. damn mr. park is one lucky man. **

**JUST FUCK ALREADY!!!!**

Ahri loved spreading the gift that is Mr. Park and Mr. Byun’s chemistry-filled relationship. Spending a couple more hours editing the blog, she called it a night and fell asleep recalling the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious events from today. 

~♬~

The banquet at the end of the year was a big, glamorous celebration the Arts department hosted in order to recognize and celebrate the talented students in the department. Professionally catered food, gorgeous decorations plus music (courtesy of the Visual Arts and Music kids respectively), the party was a night to remember. Cheers filled the air as people were sipping wine (or chugging beer) and jamming on the dancefloor to the classical rendition of Wonder Girls’ ‘Nobody’ by the strings ensemble. 

As the night was drawing to a close, the slow songs began blaring, couples with the addition of random pairs of friends swaying together while cuddling hogged the dancefloor. Generally speaking, everyone downed a few drinks at this point and were slightly tipsy if not fully out of it. Thus, it took people a couple of glances before realizing Mr. Park and Mr. Byun were slow dancing together. 

Then, everyone lost their shit seeing the band teacher make out with the choir teacher in the middle of the dance floor. 

Ahri wasted no time whipping out her phone to livestream the whole thing for her blog; Jinyoung barely caught the wine glass she shoved into his free hand. Jiwoo, Ms.Lee, too, pulled out her phone to text her friend, apologizing to her for not being able to set her up with either teacher since they were currently too busy sucking each other’s faces. Haesoo cheered, telling Shinhye that this was the reason why she had been a loyal follower of Ahri’s blog since Day 1. 

Jisung, poor sheltered boy who finally learned what the heck a hickey was from his roommates, realized that it was not a huge bug bite that he spotted on Mr. Byun’s neck, but a possessive love bite. Yeri and Seulgi thought back to that fateful encounter in the supermarket, wondering whether or not they really had spotted Mr. Park teasing Mr. Byun while buying groceries (also debating whether or not reporting this sighting will earn them bonus marks). Yuna, a blushing tomato, concluded that ‘oh, _ that’s _ why they were alone in an empty classroom.’ 

The two teachers continued to passionately kiss without a care in the world. Meanwhile, Kyungsoo and Jongdae were trying to comfort Junmyeon who was having a full blown meltdown in the corner of the ballroom. He nearly fainted after spying a bit of tongue from what obviously wasn’t gentle, virgin kissing. Junmyeon mentally cursed the two horny teachers for not setting a good example for the students as a bunch of other couples decided to go for it too. How did a celebration of the arts turn into a kissing festival? 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were still kissing when the staff cleared out the venue. 

~♬~

  


When the hungover ParkByun enthusiasts woke up the next morning to rewatch the footage from last night, they were welcomed with more than what they anticipated. It was there, the first thing anyone saw while accessing the site. 

** _We’ve been married for five years now. Thought it would be pretty funny to keep it a secret and see how long it takes for people to notice. Thanks for the support! _ **

** _[1 picture attachment] SmilingHusbandsWithWeddingRings.png_ **

  
Everyone lost their shit, _ again_.

**Author's Note:**

> This was basically self-indulgence and I enjoyed writing this way too much. I know headmaster is not the proper term for uni but it sounds fancy so I'm calling Junmyeon a headmaster. This is also highkey a mess whoops there's probably a ton of grammatical errors and I literally don't know how capitialization works so... Anyways thanks for reading!!!!! Lowkey wants to write a version of this told from chanbaek's point of view but I'll probably never get around to actually doing it. Special thanks @Lily for making me remember this existed in the first place and motivating me to actually finish writing the other half of it. Chonbike is so alive recently I'm so well fed and grateful ahhhhhh. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) if anyone wants to talk (idk why anyone would I'm an inactive loser). Stan EXO and maybe one day we will see Chonbike properly hugging.


End file.
